I Live for the.... Applause............

It's been a wild and crazy time since I last posted. Quotes to get us started-

(Two following related to WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY, all following were overheard)
"Miss Glass, if you had a spirit animal, it'd be a fox."

"Where does a fox even FIND a horse?

"Could you twerk in a mascot suit?"
"I don't know...  It'd be hot.  Wait no.  Not that way."

"Miss Glass, if I believed in reincarnation-- which I don't, but if I did-- I would say there was a soul out there, and it was split in half, and one half went to Lady Gaga, and... you have the other half."

I'm still not sure how I feel about that.

I was sniffed by a student.



One of my most difficult classes has some of the most enjoyable personalities, and that is really hard for me.  It's also hard for them.  They don't understand that while I like them as people, I can't stand them in the classroom.  I can't.  This scenario happened the other day.

me- Page numbers for the stories we've read so far are on the schedule board.  We'll be watching The Scarlet Letter on Monday and Tuesday of next week.
*five minutes pass as students work on their tests*
Student a- so... where is (insert title of story here)???
me- What? What.  Okay.  Whatever.  Again, they are all written on the schedule board.
Kid 2- The schedule board... (reads schedule board) WAIT! We're watching MOVIES on Monday and Tuesday???
me-........... Alright.  Everyone pause your tests.  You know how every day you come in and you say "Miss Glass, why're you always in a bad mood for our class?"  Just... in the future, recall the last five minutes of class and realize that this occurs DAILY.  Reflect upon that.  Resume your tests.



Personally, my habits kick my butt.  I run, and I can run for a while.  But I've had to motivate and encourage not only myself, but those around me, for so long that when I need to self-motivate to go running, it feels about how I imagine death feels.

I spend all day trying to motivate 75 teenagers to care about Early American Literature.  The last thing I want to do after that is motivate myself to run, especially when my run will inevitably be accompanied by the presence of in-shape people and a background noise of Swamp People.

Being a young'n in Oklahoma's suburbs is an interesting task.  There are little to no people my age.  My phone ended it all, so I have little contact with the outside world.  It's not that great for self-growth.  It's excellent for discouragement.  That is what I spend my time fighting lately.



As is this-
"Would you please get out of his hoodie WHILE HE'S WEARING IT.  Two full grown teenage boys.  Why do I even have to tell you that two people can't fit in, and shouldn't fit in, that hoodie???"

Why Teaching Wears One Out Physically

Right now, we're studying The Declaration of Independence, which is, like, the most thrilling literary work of all time.  MY students come into class with smiling faces and joyous hearts.  They race through the hallways for the chance to be the first student to read aloud.  Then, we all skip across rainbows and play kumbaya on our various musical intruments made by woodland creatures.  I call tombourine.

In reality, the best part of studying The Declaration is that they're writing their own.  One class chose to write theirs declaring their freedom from Michelle Obama's tyrannical control of cafeteria food (WE WANT SALT AND WHITE BREAD!), while the other class (We the people of the class of Glass) declared freedom from the rules of school.  Apparently they think high school would be more fun if tights were considered real pants.  Heads up students- they're not considered real pants in the real world, either.  The other class is studying The Scarlet Letter.  Which makes me so happy.  I love it.  They kind of hate me, too.  It's a theme.

I have had parental run-in number two, and, let me tell you, they're the MOST fun I've ever had.

To my knowledge, I have had two rumors circulate about me.  One-  The office made me change out of a pair of neon yellow heels.  I never got to the bottom of this rumor in order to figure out WHY the office would ban me from wearing neon yellow heels, but I'll bet the high school rumor mill turned out a pretty good story about it.  Two-  Apparently the fact that my camera's battery killed itself mid-organization pictures today makes me unfit to run yearbook in the eyes of some of my more talkative students.  Well, guess what, talkative students.  I had one of my yearbook/well-behaved students taking back up pictures the whole time, so, uh, yeah, I think I've got this under control.  But thanks for your concern.  Judgey

My students say ridiculous things.  I always knew high schoolers said ridiculous things, mainly because I was always one in the back trying to be quietly witty about how ridiculous everyone else was being.  But, in the last three days, I have, as a direct response to ridiculous high school conversations, had to say, "No, I will not accept bloodthirst as an emotion," "I'm pretty shocked at the amount of tickle-fighting this class does, and I'm not sure whether it's better or worse that most of it 'happens in public,'" "If you want to have a cry party, go back to Canada," and, "Yeah, if she's pregnant, the mosh pit probably isn't the best place for her."

As far as personal growth goes... I have had none.  I'm still a self-righteous angeraholic.  I still let people and their attitudes change my day.  I still let the fact that my last class of the day is so entertaining muddle my opinions of them. I'm working on these things.  I'm working on not wanting to scream every time someone who is a co-worker thinks I'm a student.  I'm trying to learn to not become overwhelmed so easily.  I'm trying to learn how to teach and also live my life.

I'm just trying to teach my lessons.

I Pledge Allegiance to...

... the..... ........flag.......

"Miss Glass... Where's the flag?"

That was day six.  The guns have fired, and we are off to a great start.  The better part of this question is how 76 people didn't notice that there was no American Flag in my classroom for a total of 5 days.  In a CLASSROOM.

These are the types of things that happen every.  Single.  Day.  In a first year teacher's classroom.  Things so simple as getting an American Flag that you never realized you might need to consider.  As I tell my seventeen-year-old-notice-every-single-thing-you-do-wrong students on a daily basis, ... They don't teach you that in Teacher School!

They also didn't teach me that the best form of classroom managment I've found so far has been to make students who spend their time talking when they shouldn't be stand in front of, and stare eye-level at, a Justin Bieber poster.  They didn't teach me how to react when a student eats a sticker they have been given as a reward.  They didn't teach me how to deal with a student who will not quit doing backflips in my class.  I knew teaching high school would be an adventure.  I signed up for this... I signed UP for this!

So this blog is where I will talk about the things they don't teach you in Teacher School.  This blog is where I will try to puzzle through the inner-workings of seventeen-year-old brains in order to determine why the only lesson learned from moonwalking into a bookshelf was "I don't have eyes in the back of my head," and why that lesson wasn't learned much earlier in life.  This is where I analyze my own areas that need growth, my daily decisions, and my personal struggles.

Becuase, as my students will tell you in a heartbeat, The Struggle is REAL.